Hello acolytes.
I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch recently but am pleased to see that your tithing and weekly contributions to the Church of the Blessed Curmudgeon have been rolling in. It helps me to live in the manner that I'm accustomed to which of course in turn helps you. I learned my circular logic from my time as an altar boy in the Catholic Church which has done pretty well for itself through tithing and contributions from its followers. Robert aka Rob disagrees of course saying that tithing isn't a source of income for the Vatican and suggesting that I was entering the realms of fantasy there. See:
Talking about realms of fantasy though I read something recently - it might have been on Robert's blog 'Rob' - where some Catholic apologists (seems appropriate) were trying to explain, and justify the 'Holy Trinity'. Talk about circular logic - well, we were before - these guys contorted themselves into all sorts of strange positions with the convoluted 'logic' and 'truths' they used. Blimey!
It got me thinking though, after a laugh and a lie-down that the old Catholic Church can't be discounted ... not for any logic or truth in what they say ... but for the ability to spin such bizarre tales that capture, not just the interest of hundreds of millions of followers but their hearts and minds (and bank balances) as well. "I need some of that" I thought.
The Vatican has the Holy Trinity thing covered but I thought of going one better. Why not the Blessed Quadrinity?
The Catholics can have the trinity - you know, god the father, god the son and the holy ghost but The Church Of the Blessed Curmudgeon will have The Blessed Curmudgeon, The Blessed Curmudgeon's son (post yet to be filled), the Blessed Tui (because I just saw one out of the window) and the Blessed Cellarmaster*. Four beings in one can you believe? I mean, it's not far-fetched. In 1954 Pope Pius XII came pretty close to declaring that Roman Catholic Christianity was a quaternity rather than a trinity and declared that Mary was 'mother of God' and, having given birth to Jesus as 'King', was certainly entitled to be called 'Queen' thus putting her in the group. I think the Vatican shut old Pius down - probably poisoned them as that's what they usually do with unruly popes, cardinals and bishops.
Anyway, what do you think?
* The Blessed Cellarmaster is a very important position with responsibilities for selecting, purchasing, storing and opening and pouring wines when the Blessed Quadrinity are sitting down discussing what's best for you acolytes. The Blessed Quardrinty - damn that's a mouthful (said the actress to the bishop) - maybe we need to shorten it to The Fours. Yes, that's better. The Fours will be busy inventing writing interpreting ancient scrolls that justify our existence and will need a bit of extra contribution thanks.
May The Fours Be With You!
