HALLELUIAH

 JEFF BUCKLEY - HALLELUIAH

Yes, you're reading about it here - the first Curmudgeon's church which, for this one, we've named THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED CURMUDGEON:

The Church Of The Blessed Curmudgeon*

I chose the Leonard Cohen song as I like Cohen's music and Buckley did a pretty good version of it. It also fits the theme of this blog

Now I've done my best, I know it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come here to London just to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand right here before the Lord of song
With nothing, nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

In future posts I will outline the philosophy of this church and its guiding principles which, for want of a better term I'll call its Cataclysm**. The Cataclysm  is a summary or exposition of doctrine and will serve as a learning introduction to the Scarymots *** which will be used in catechesis, or Christian religious teaching of children and adult converts.

The Cataclysm and its Scarymots will be housed within a holy book I've devised aptly named The Babble****. The Babble, not unlike the Christian's Bible will be full of silly stories, anecdotes and things to scare children (see Scarymots) and will unashamedly draw from the works of the famous Godspoliers***** like the Grimm brothers, Pushkin, Perrault, Anderson and Dahl.

I'm pleased to announce that there will be links to some other religious oriented bloggers. First up will be The Religious Curmudgeon, Angry Jesus and Robert the apathetic and sanctimonious toilet cleaner (don't ask).

Welcome to this blog and, as early adopters of the religion of THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED CURMUDGEON, you will be eligible for a 25% discount on the weekly tithe (normally 10% of earnings - after tax). In addition, once I get the church shop up and running you can print out this inaugural and commemorative post to be used as a one-off voucher to receive a glass of Hawkes Bay chardonnay (with a label) and a couple of  CHURCH OF THE BLESSED CURMUDGEON hosts with a choice of toppings. There will be none of that crappy altar wine and dry hosts here.

May I be with you.

The Blessed Curmudgeon

* The more pedantic reader will notice that the font type used is named 'Righteous' which seems appropriate.

** The Cataclysm is loosely based on the Catholic Catechism but will contain more common sense and believability.

*** Scarymots are the 'sacraments' of THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED CURMUDGEON and, while designed to scare the shit out of potential believers will also offer some words (mots) of advice some of which you will be familiar with if you've read any of Angry Jesus's posts like: "Don't put your shithouse next to your water supply."

**** The Babble, not to be confused with The Bible. It will come with special weekly offers and discounts at your favourite businesses and services like e.g. Madams Divine Mercy Dominatrix Clinic.

***** Godspoilers are the messengers and reporters that I will use to tell my story to the masses.